Ok, I know the skit kind of sucked ass, but it was my first attempt EVER at writing a comedy skit never MIND actually trying to make it sound funny. But I figured I would give it a try after running across this little site called Sims on stage. Quite a cool little site I must say (http://www.simsonstage.ea.com/) if you want to check it out and try your hand at any of the various creative performance options they have available to you there. Anyway...I hope you like the skit, but please remember, it is my very first ever attempt at comedy, so be kind. lol.
Raven
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Monday, April 14, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Philosophers of the Future
A 1st grade teacher put together a list of popular proverbs. She then gave each kid in the class the first part of the proverb, and asked them to finish it. Here’s what the smartie pants came up with:
Better to be safe than… punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the… bug is close.
Don’t bite the hand that… looks dirty.
No news is… impossible.
A miss is as good as a… Mr.
You can’t teach an old dog… math.
If you lie down with dogs, you… will stink in the morning.
Love all, trust… me.
An idle mind is… the best way to relax.
Where there is smoke, there’s… pollution.
Happy is the bride who… gets all the presents.
A penny saved is… not much.
Children should be seen and not… spanked or grounded.
If at first you don’t succeed… get new batteries.
You get out of something what you… see pictured on the box.
When the blind lead the blind… get out of the way.
Don’t count your chickens….because you gotta eat one.
Better to be safe than… punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the… bug is close.
Don’t bite the hand that… looks dirty.
No news is… impossible.
A miss is as good as a… Mr.
You can’t teach an old dog… math.
If you lie down with dogs, you… will stink in the morning.
Love all, trust… me.
An idle mind is… the best way to relax.
Where there is smoke, there’s… pollution.
Happy is the bride who… gets all the presents.
A penny saved is… not much.
Children should be seen and not… spanked or grounded.
If at first you don’t succeed… get new batteries.
You get out of something what you… see pictured on the box.
When the blind lead the blind… get out of the way.
Don’t count your chickens….because you gotta eat one.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
funny comments heard from patients of a proctologist
[A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies.]
1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."
9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"
1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."
9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"
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